So, you fancy a noight darn sarf d’ye, geezer? Well, let us remind you old sport that Castletown is a fine, upstanding town and indeed, the former capital of our fair isle. We’ll have less of the Danny Dyer speak dear boy. Or soon enough you’ll be brown bread.
Moving on from such tomfoolery! Our next stop on this Isle-trotting tour is, well, if you hadn’t guessed: the South! Yes, the Southernmost point of our fine Island has a wealth of history behind it. Not to mention its understated beauty, too. A day out can be spent lording it up in Castle Rushen pretending you’re a battle-hardened Viking — we’d go for ‘ODIN THUNDERBEARD’ if we had to choose a name — or long, gentle strolls towards the beautiful shore, where sparkling seas kiss the nape of the beach. Naturally, we’re focusing on a team night out on the lash. You’re welcome.
In all seriousness, there are so many variants here. The South of the Island has something for everyone.
Steaming into C-Town
Right. You need a plan. The Dining Car Experience has a wealth of cuisine options that will surely keep everybody happy. Even Fussy Phil from Compliance who you’ve only ever seen eat fizzy Haribo. Themed nights are sprinkled throughout the month. Whether it be Mexican tapas, the Christmas Party Train or Festive Pie & Mash, there’s plenty of choice. Plus, the bar is most certainly open! Excellent foodstuffs, a few drinks to get the merriment into gear and all within the comfort of the genteel train. You’ll feel like Michael Palin in a Christmas jumper.
Next up? A spooky Isle of Man ghost tour is not only a right good laugh…it’s a perfect way to sober yourself up through cold, merciless terror. Mwahahaha. You’ll walk the streets of C-Town and hear vivid, creepy tales of when Manx witches were burnt alive and public executions were Saturday evening entertainment. Aka “The pre-Netflix” era.
Situated on the famous ghost walk and perfect for a beverage to calm those nerves is The George. You could even reserve a room for the night! You may be somewhat dissuaded by all the talk of beheadings but still…it’s an option.
Resist the urge to invade Castle Rushen or the Calf of Man, and instead stand down soldier! The Glue Pot has a frothy pint of Bushy’s waiting for you. Not literally waiting for you…it’s a pint.
Bottle Monkey have commandeered control of the Old Castletown Fire Station and turned it into a live music-playing, creatives market-displaying, craft ale-quaffing paradise. It’s a Christmas miracle!
You can then finish up back on the Steam Train Dining Car, to continue apace in Douglas. Like a passing of the Olympic torch from old capital to new. But with an uproarious team sing-song of Wizard to finish off. Or Slade. One of the mutton-chopped Christmas hits, anyhow.
Crafting in the name of
Perhaps you’re less ‘lads lad lads’ and more ‘crafts crafts crafts’. Don’t you worry, kiddo. Tis the season for market-wares! This Saturday 5 December there’s a Chrimbo market on in Castletown and indeed, the Port Erin festive extravaganza too! Held at Erin Arts Centre, the extravaganza — sorry we just love using that word — will have a fun-packed day of raffles, games and the ubiquitous presence of Santa himself. Also, there will be so many craft stalls you’ll be forced to bellow out “YOU ARE HAVING A CRAFT, MATE” which may not go down well but still! Lots to enjoy. Lots of home-made bargains.
Or…
As Monty Python would say, ‘And now for something completely different’.
What about…snooker? Hear us out! Castletown’s new Cue Zone is the Island’s largest snooker and pool venue. Dd we mention it’s run by former professional snooker player, Darryl Hill? We didn’t? Who’s answering us back? ARGHHH THE VOICES. Sorry about that. Where were we? Ah yes. Darryl has a great set-up and even offers some of his expert coaching too. Give it a try and see if you can top our best break of 4! Aim high.
Food Glorious Food!
There are lots and lots of wonderful food and drink outlets in the South. Foraging Vintners bring the classy vibe with their home-brewed craft winery. We can confirm the Rhubarb Sparkling wine tastes heaven-sent. Secret Pizza Co are the self-proclaimed mother-funkers of stonebaked delight. And, if a Biscoff Cake Jar doesn’t sound like the greatest invention in the history of mankind then not only are you certifiable, you best avoid Cupcakery then.
There’s only one place to finish…
You guessed it: Twilight Glow Paddleboarding! Yeah, we really signposted that one. Boasting the UK’s only illuminated stand-up paddleboarding experience…can you really picture a more fitting end to your day than paddling through charcoal-black waters, the tranquil sea alighted by your LED-lit board? Other than a 3am donner kebab and hour-long search for your house keys, obviously…
Next week? Won’t you stay another day? We’re getting our East 17 on!
